Day to Day Life Struggle of a Hactivist, FOSH Activist, Volunteer


#1

Most of the volunteers/activists in the movement, and close friends in the community, after engaging in critical thought process and action will come to a point where it feels overwhelming related to several individual and socio-economic factors :

  1. Frictions from internal contradicitons : We love sharing community responsibilities and do it, yet feel little burned out because of internal contradictions and difference of opinions.
  2. Frictions from sustenance : As a worker we have the pressure to meet the agreed outcome, yet Free Software/Open Hardware activism indulges a positive self criticism, which for most of us creates confusion.
  3. Frictions between personal & political life : Gaining awareness as part of larger struggle, we also love to contribute time and labour for creating solutions, which might decrease our attention towards loved ones.
  4. Facing questions that makes us think : Facing newcomers, and the general mass during public sessions, to grow our skins as well as learn to empathize them and think from their perspective, so that we do not oppress them in our own way.

I think i have tried to summarize the possible contradictions a normal activist usually faces in life. Sometimes we know that our responsibilities may sometimes load us heavily that eventually leads to mental and physical health deterioration yet we innately cannot distant from such work, because of our learning and love towards it.

I think, we are seeing the patterns of : huge rush of enouragement, and eventual burning out, emotional burst, and other negative behaviour, emerges again and again. Yet we are still trying to find a way to organize ourselves at individual level and at community level.

We also are well aware that we not only live in a era of extreme connectivity, but also live in era of extreme hyper individualization and socially distanting isolation.

  • Sometimes we feel that we are loading everything on our heads and just break ourselves or blank out without any direction.
  • Sometimes we are so clear at individual level what one needs to do, and yet chaos emerges at community level.
  • Sometimes we are collectively clear to what we all need to do, and yet confusion emerges at individual level
  • Sometimes we feel helpless for our peer, so how come we are going to be instrumental in creating a change in culture of what we collectively envision.
  • We are so connected and feel so isolated.
  • We speak and think so much about privacy, but many times we feel like we dont have control over our decisions, desires and life.
  • We know the contradictions and yet we lack the practice of navigating it.

Am I overstating the reality, Does anybody else feels the same ?, should we take this even seriously ?